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So we're on a "break". Well, really, he's on a break, and I'm just waiting around. I guess this taking time off stuff is almost never a mutual decision. He wants to get back together, but says he needs a few weeks to blow off some steam. He told me he's an ass. I agreed. He told me if I saw other guys during this break, he couldn't hold it against me, but he wouldn't be seeing anyone else. He wanted to talk on the phone and online, but doesn't want to see me. Ironically enough, we started fighting this morning because I mentioned that it bothered me that he never called me. Ha. Ha.

I had a good cry. You know, felt the sky falling, the walls closing in on me, I couldn't breathe. Nothing too intense.

But I guess I have to look at the big picture. If we are supposed to be together, then when we do get back together, our relationship will be stronger for it. And if it goes back to how it was, well then, I guess I'll have to deal with it then.

I can't imagine him not in my life. I love him with everything I have. This hurts so much.

But I guess I'll just have to wait and see.

(2005-02-18 - 12:31 a.m.)