oh BAH!

Hmm, weird night, with the ex-something-or-other. But alas, that information will be reserved for my trusted confidante and partner in crime, whether or not she wants to hear it. Sorry Smelley! :)

Anyway, as for HIM. I think it's time that I just stop telling myself whatever it is I've been telling myself and just accept that I won't be with him. Ever. Not now, and not years down the road. It's not the age difference, it's not that the timing isn't right, and it's not that I just have to wait for him to realize anything. The truth of the matter is, I'm just not good enough for him.

I don't know how I'll do it. They (yep, "they") say it's not possible to just stop loving someone just because you want to, and maybe that's true. And if I can't do that, then I'll just have to settle for stuffing my feelings for him so far down that I don't recognize them anymore. I have to think with my head now and not my heart, because this whole heart thing just isn't working out. Loving someone shouldn't be this painful. I brought these feelings on myself, and I can take them away too.

So excuse me while I smile and nod and he tells me about this new "unbelievable" girl he's met.

(2003-05-27 - 12:49 a.m.)